Monday, June 17, 2013

2012: The Year in Matatus



The former Editor of 'Matatu Today' magazine back at some of the pivotal moments in the public transport industry in 2012


Jan: The bulk of the work on the Sh31 billion Thika Superhighway is complete, transforming the literal and economic landscape around it. While comments on the 3-year mega project are mainly positive, there is concern about the high rate of accidents on the new road.

Jan 29: The Matatu Welfare Association (MWA) calls on the government to reconsider the controversial 14 seater phase-out policy. The policy recommends buses over smaller, more popular, Nissans as a way of easing road congestion and other complications.

Feb: Announcement that Matatu Express - a documentary film about the everyday struggles of young people living in a slum in Nairobi - will be shown in Ontario, Canada, at the Gayety Theater 0n Thursday, March 22.

Mar 16: A minibus conductor is stabbed to death during a carjacking incident along Jogoo Road, Nairobi.

Apr: Famed cartoonist Frank Odoi, dies aged 64 when the matatu he is travelling in overturns. He was the author of the Driving Me Crazy comic strip, among many other works.

May: Ministry of Roads is voted the most improved among Government ministries in service delivery over the previous year (Ethics and Anti-Corruption Commission survey).

May: Matatu strike brings city to a grinding halt.

Jul 4: The Matatu Welfare Association (MWA) calls for further consultation on the proposed Traffic Amendment Bill.  Association chairman Dickson Mbugua calls for revisions before the President signs the draconian Bill into law.

Jul 29: Over 50 enraged matatu operators from route 23 (Westlands) block sections of University Way and Harry Thuku Road  with their vehicles, protesting police harassment and demanding the release of their four colleagues who had been arrested shortly before.

Jul 5: Hundreds of passengers  from Thika town and its environs are left stranded when over 100 matatu owners go on strike, led by their chairman Michael Kariuki, protesting ‘invasion’ by PSV vehicles from other areas.

Aug: Transport index goes down by 0.82 per cent between July 2012 and August 2012 mainly due to falls in matatu, bus and taxi fares that reflect the continued trend in reductions of petrol and diesel prices, according to figures released by the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics (KNBS).

Oct 2: Matatu Today magazine is re-introduced to the market and gets mainly positive reviews by PSV industry stakeholders.

Oct 19: Pollster Ipsos Synovate release a road safety report indicating that a ‘Majority of Kenyans do not take personal responsibility for road safety.’

Oct 30: All matatu owners and drivers are asked to take their PSVs for a free inspection clinic to last until the end of November. Traffic Commandant Ben Kibue assures Matatu operators that they will not be harassed.

Oct: Police in Nyandarua issue a warning to gangs that have been harassing matatu operators in the area, extorting money at the PSV terminals.

Nov 7: H.E. Hon. Mwai Kibaki launches the construction of the 122km Turbi-Moyale road. The section of the road to be upgraded to bitumen standard is part of the 500 km Isiolo-Moyale Highway.

Nov: Number of traffic-related deaths tops 2,500 for the year so far (Traffic Police report)

Nov 9: H.E. Hon. Mwai Kibaki commissions Thika Superhighway, officially opening it up for business. Present on this auspicious occasion is the Chinese Ambassador to Kenya, He Liu Guangyuan; Kenya Highways Authority director-general, Meshack Kidenda, and the Minister for Roads, Franklin Bett. The road is part of the trans-Africa Highway running from Cape Town in South Africa to Cairo in Egypt.

Nov 18: 10 people are killed and 25 seriously injured when an explosive goes off inside a matatu mini-bus in Eastleigh township, Nairobi. The explosion is believed to be caused by a grenade or improvised explosive device (IED).

Nov 24 - 25: Paul Karanja, chairman of a matatu sacco in Nanyuki, is shot and wounded by unknown assailants.

Nov 29:  A massive matatu strike cripples public transport countrywide as matatu industry stakeholders protest the signing of the punitive Traffic Amendment Bill into law.  In Nairobi, buses belonging to City Hoppa, KBS and Double M are temporarily forced to stay off the road by the protesters. Public reaction is mixed but with the majority siding with the law that calls for alarmingly high penalties for traffic offences such as drunken driving and overlapping.




Nov 30: Matatu Welfare Association (MWA) chairman, Dickson Mbugua, calls off matatu strike after holding talks with Transport PS, Cyrus Njiru, on a possible review of contentious new traffic laws. Matatu Owners Association (MOA) chairman, Simon Kimutai, also calls on matatu operators to return to work. MOA had earlier condemned the Traffic Law Amendment Act 2012, saying it was specifically targeted at matatu operators.

Dec 18: Court finds 6 Administration Policemen accused of killing 7 taxi operators in Kawangware on March 2010 guilty.

Dec 18: A Kameme FM/K24 correspondent and a QTV/MTV journalist are attacked by touts and taxi operators in Meru while trying to cover flouting of traffic rules.

Dec 18: Speaking in Thika, Deputy Traffic Commandant, Samuel Kimaru, urges road users to exercise caution the festive season. At the same venue, Ministry of Health decries high number of accidents involving boda bodas.

Dec: Massive reshuffle in police force as numerous senior traffic commanders in Nairobi are redeployed.
 

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

What Ails Kenyan Literature (Part 3) - Wrong / Lack of Author Branding




‘I am in the storytelling business.’ – John Le Carré (The Constant Gardener, The Spy Who Came in From the Cold)

‘I want to be remembered as a storyteller.’ – Sidney Sheldon

‘I’m not capable of winning literary prizes – not good enough. I’m a storyteller. That’s my strength. But a hundred million people read my books and I have been No.1 all over the world.’ – Bestselling British novelist Jeffery Archer

‘I was born to be a storyteller – even my dreams have a full cast of characters and a twist in the tail.’ – Alexander Nderitu


One of megastar Michael Jackson’s comeback attempts was an album called Ghosts. (Apparently an effort to re-create the astonishing success of Thriller.) In line with his epic blockbuster releases, the album came complete with an extended video featuring MJ’s singing and dance moves, all tied together by a storyline. To make Thriller, he had collaborated with John Landis, writer/director of An American Werewolf in London (hence MJ’s werewolf character and the ghostly laughter at the end). For Ghosts, MJ needed something similar – someone known the world over for ‘ghostly’ entertainments. He brought in American gothic/horror novelist Stephen
King (Danse Macabre, The Shining, The Shawshank Redemption).

Had Stephen King turned down the role of writing the storyline, I bet MJ’s other options would have been Dean R. Koontz (Whispers, Fear Nothing), Ann Rice (Interview With the Vampire) and James Herbert (The Rats). Why? Because all those authors are known the world over for horror fiction. James Herbert, for instance, is Britain’s greatest horror writer. His novels, which include The Rats, Legion, The Magic Cottage, Haunted, The Spear and Portent, have sold thirty-seven million copies.

The point I’m trying to make is that the world’s bestselling authors are brands. In marketing, a ‘brand’ is ‘a set of promises’, a certain expectation (or set of expectations) from a product or name. Some authors have become so well-branded as to dominate certain niche markets – you see or hear their name and you associate them with a certain type of literature:

1) Tom Clancy – ‘Techno’ (high-tech) thrillers
2) Danielle Steel – Romantic fiction
3) Robert Ludlum – Violent super thrillers
4) Stephen King – Horror fiction
5) Dean R. Koontz – Horror fiction
6) John Grisham – Legal thrillers
7) Andy McNab – Special forces action
8) Patricia Cornwell – CSI-type murder investigations
….And so on. 

And that’s why when Michael Jackson was making Ghosts, he didn’t reach out to Danielle Steel or John Grisham.

Branding is a very important part of sales and marketing. As said on TVs ‘Small Business Enterprise’, ‘It’s always easier to sell with a brand than without one.’ Even the font used for a major author’s name is usually unique and often consistent throughout his or her book covers. I’m talking about writers like Danielle Steel, Tom Clancy, Janet Evanovich, James Hadley Chase, Stephen King, Jeffery Deaver, Jonathan Kellerman, John Grisham and many others. The publishers want that name to catch your eye even when the book
is just one of many in a bookstore. The effect is especially clear when an author’s books are placed side by side.

Let’s delve further into the issue of branding and why it’s so important for the emerging crop of Kenyan literati:
A lesser known Danielle Steel, Mary Stewart wrote numerous romantic novels, some of them set in historical times. Her titles, which include Wildfire at Midnight, Thunder on the Right, Nine Coaches Waiting and This Rough Magic, were translated into 15 languages and sold over 7 million copies in Corgi alone. Commenting on Nine Coaches Waiting, a Daily Telegraph review said,
‘There are few to equal Mary Stewart as an entertainer.’ Note: It said ‘entertainer’ – not ‘writer’, not ‘novelist’, not ‘author’. Novelists are entertainers – just like musicians, actors, dancers and other artists. And that’s how most young Kenyan authors see themselves. Personally, I have never considered myself anything but an entertainer. Everything I write (novel, play etc) is meant to entertain an audience. Sometimes, I touch on heady issues like human genetic cloning (The Tomorrow Soldiers), post-Cold War espionage (Life as a Flower, Kiss Commander Promise™), the arms trade (The Patriots Club, Climate of Terror), genocide (Harvest of Blood) and so on but the overall objective is to elicit an emotional response, to entertain.

If I wanted to present bare facts, I would be a newspaper reporter.

To reinforce the idea of writers as mainstream entertainers, many new Kenyan authors also engage (or have been engaged) in other forms of entertainment. Examples: Caroline Nderitu (stage plays), Cajetan Boy (stage plays, movies), Joshua Mwai (stage plays, bass guitarist in a band), Tony Mochama (rock music, has mentioned being in a band called ‘Adam’s Apple’), Mildred Achoch (rock music promoter), my friends Dayan Masinde and Boniface Nyaga (R&B
music, both members of ‘Love Republic’ band) and of course there’s me and my experimental rock/alternative rap project (‘The Alexander Nderitu Overture’).

I don’t know what it is about rock music in particular that attracts novelists but the phenomenon seems to be universal:

- Jackie Collins wrote a book about rock n’ rollers entitled, Rock Star. The bestseller revolves around the lives of three different musicians. It is believed to have been inspired by such acts as Mick Jagger, Sting and Whitney Houston.

- In his old age, horror writer Stephen King formed a rock band with friends in order to ‘recapture a misspent youth.’

- Controversial Indian-born author Salman Rushdie (The Satanic Verses, Midnight’s Childrenwrote a book on the sex-and-drugs world of Rock n’ Roll music. For research, he spent time with Irish rock band U2. ‘Rock stars should never let novelists on stage,’ Rushdie said. ‘They end up writing novels.’ Perhaps, Mr. Rushdie, but it cuts both ways – musicians have also been so inspired by literature that it gave them song ideas:

o The Beautiful South rock band has a wonderful song called Danielle Steel (The Enemy Within)

o Paul Simon & Garfunkel’s poetic, allegorical, song, The Dangling Conversation, was based on the novel The Dangling Man by Saul Bellow. Popular in its day, The Dangling Man centres on the thoughts of a man going through an entire year of idleness as he waits to be drafted into the army. Even the lyrics lend themselves to literature. Dig this:

‘And you read your Emily Dickinson / And I my Robert Frost / And we note our place
with bookmarkers / To measure what we’ve lost’

Paul Simon & Garfunkel must be a huge fans of English literature.

o Another music group with a taste for literature was The Sensational Alex Harvey Band. Best known for their intriguing stage antics, the influential Scottish rockers incorporated literary and theatrical elements into their stage act. One particular number, The Man in the Jar, sounds less like a song and more like a detective novel audio book. Analyze this:

‘I got the call on a rainy Monday / Business was uneasy / So I flipped open a packet of cigarettes and considered the situation’

Later the same evening:

‘The fog drifted over the river / I turned up the collar of my coat / I’ve got to get over there
fast, fast / Call me a cab, call me a cab / I entered the study / Through the French windows / And there on the floor / Was all that was left of the man with no face’

o I would be remiss not to mention folk/rock singer Bob Dylan in this section of musicians inspired by literature. His very name is adapted from poet Dylan Thomas (Bob Dylan was born Robert Zimmerman). His lyrical storytelling style changed song-writing forever, making him one of the most influential musicians of all time. Songs like Twitter and the Monkey Man, Tangled Up in Blue and Lily, Rosemary and The Jack of Hearts have been described as ‘perfect little novels’. In 2008, Bob Dylan was awarded an honorary Pulitzer Prize.

- Before becoming a novelist, Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist), worked as a songwriter, composing lyrics for Elis Regina, Rita Lee, and Brazilian icon Raul Seixas.

- Noted Jamaican-born poet Linton Kwesi Johnson (better known as LKJ) combined his love for poetry and reggae music to become one of the pioneers of ‘Dub Poetry’. LKJ’s poetic hit songs include Want Fi Go Rave, Sonny’s Letter and Lincense Fi Kill. His music albums sold over 3 million copies but he always insisted that he was a poet (not a musician). During a performance in South Africa, he stopped the band so that he could recite his poem New World Order in its pure form. LKJ was allegedly the first Black man to have his poetry published by Penguin Classics.

- Another Jamaican reggae poet is Mutabaruka whose poem entitled Dis Poem took the world by storm and has been performed and referenced in Spoken Word sessions around the globe. Mutabaruka himself has recited Dis Poem on such platforms as America’s Def Poetry Jam. His reggae music is deeply poetic as evidenced by the hit song Dispel the Lie.

- In Kenya, artists performing ‘dub poetry’ include female reggae artist Mumbi.

- Ian Rankin was recently spotted DJ-ing!

- Margaret Atwood, launched her novel The Year of the Flood with an all-singing, all-dancing ‘world tour’

- Iain Sinclair is developing ‘a site-specific work for text and sound’

- Sidney Sheldon (The Other Side of Midnight, If Tomorrow Comes) was probably the best loved novelist in Kenya throughout the ‘90’s. Among the youth, even those who hadn’t read the bestsellers had at least heard of the author. Apart from his books being available countrywide, TV mini-series of some of his tales like Rage of Angels and If Tomorrow Comes were aired on local TV. What most Kenyans may not know is that the author (now deceased) didn’t start writing novels until he was in his 60s! He had previously written
songs, stage plays (Annie Get Your Gun), movie scripts (Easter Parade, The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer) and TV shows (I Dream of Jeannie, Hart to Hart). His own words:

‘I’m interested in everything. I’m interested in television, movies, books,
theatre…I want do all of that and as long as God let’s me live, I’ll keep doing
what I’m doing.’

Far from being considered ‘entertainers’ and appearing where they belong in newspapers and magazines (along with other entertainers/celebrities), young Kenyan writers find themselves only flittingly mentioned in the (usually boring) books section. Ask a person on the street what he imagines a typical Kenyan author looks like and, pound to a penny, he’ll paint a picture of an
ageing professor whose best works were published in the ‘70’s or ‘80’s. This is serious because that’s not what the writer of today looks like. For one thing, those types of writers are a very small minority and allowing them to be the de facto face of Kenyan literature is a case of the tail wagging the dog. There is such a dichotomy between the types of literature tackled by the
‘entertainers’ and the works of ‘literary/serious/academic’ types that their books probably shouldn’t be sold side-by-side at the bookstore (the same as different products on a supermarket shelf). They’re completely different brands. Here’s an example - Imagine you were peeking into the Bookpoint window display and the following titles were side-by-side: My Life in Crime, Son of Woman, My Four Wives, How to Get Rich in Africa, Excuse Me Your Dream is Calling, Sunrise at Midnight and The Politics of School Texts in Kenya. Which one would you say is the odd one out? The last one of course! The title alone promises boredom. You have to keep in mind that when
you put out a book, even if it’s non-fiction, it will be competing with other books from all over the world, at the bookstore. Even if Politics of School Texts in Kenya is placed strictly among nonfiction books in a bookstore, it will still rub shoulders with such seductive titles as Pop Babylon (an exposé of the world of pop music) and The Accidental Billionaires (about the founding of
Facebook). Which of those three titles would you be least interested in browsing? A better title for The Politics of School Texts in Kenya would probably have been, Education Babylon: Who Decides What Your Children Read in School? If such tactics repulse you, then you’re exactly what I was ten years ago – a lousy marketer. Like most artists, I only cared about my art - putting out the best writings I possibly could. I had to find out the hard way that having great content is not enough. You need to be part businessman.
Or as Robert Kiyosaki argues in his 20-million-copy bestseller, Rich Dad Poor Dadthere’s a difference between a ‘best-selling author’ and a ‘best-writing author.’ A few years ago, I started writing less and learning more about marketing. As of right now, there are two local publishers (one of them quite prestigious) interested in my longer fiction; one Japanese publisher translating my short stories (including Rude Was the Shock, A Game for Heroes…If You Believe the Hype, Kiss Commander Promise™ and Hannah and the Angel) into Japanese, for print and electronic publication; and two unrelated filmmakers working on movies based on Kiss, Commander, Promise™ and The Stacy Walker InterviewFor more on the importance of the ‘look’ of your book in bookstores, let’s get a word from American PR guru Steve Harrison who helped such books as Chicken Soup for the Soul and Rich Dad Poor Dad get publicity:

‘Another key thing is to think about your title. Your title is really key. People judge your book by the title. They also judge it by the cover. So it’s not a place that you’ll want to skip. You’re definitely going to want a professional graphic designer, not your other daughter who’s just learned this new software program. Actually get a professional person who is used to doing book covers so that your book looks like it belongs on the New York Times Bestseller List.'

A good example of titles and covers being used to great effect is in the marketing of the James Hadley Chase thrillers that ruled Kenyan bookshops in the nineties. They bore such titles as Tiger By the Tail, You’re Lonely When You’re Dead, You’re Dead Without Money, More Deadly Than The Male, Make The Corpse Walk and I Would Rather Stay Poor. The titles alone made you curious. The cover design inevitably featured a skimpily-clad, drop-dead gorgeous girl, usually holding a pistol. What’s interesting is that some of the 'dames' in the books, such as the lead females in No Orchids for Miss Blandish and Just A Matter of Time, were quite demure and never even touched guns in the actual stories! But the book covers sure caught your attention when you passed by a bookstore!

Kenyan literature does not fall under one brand. The ‘storytellers/entertainers’ need to market themselves separately from the scholars. For example, when emailing media releases, they should send them to the entertainment editors, not necessarily the literary commentators. They should also seek TV appearances. Appearances on TV talk shows are a popular way for authors
to market their books. Even mentions of authors or their works on the air can be a boost.

To illustrate my point, the first time I ever heard of novelist Ann Rice (Interview With the Vampire, Servant of the Bones, The Vampire Armad), it was on TV’s E! News Weekend – a show that covers entertainment news. According to E!, Ann Rice ‘has written more than twenty novels that have sold millions of copies’. Being a show that mainly covers film stars, it’s very likely that Hollywood heavyweights (producers, directors, star actors) watch that show and would, then, be in a position to learn about Ann Rice’s works (but it’s very unlikely that said heavyweights would be reading professor-written sleep-inducing literary columns). Indeed, Ann Rice has caught Hollywood’s eye in the past: Interview With the Vampire was turned into a movie starring
Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, no doubt further increasing the author’s bankability.
Let’s now hear the opinion of superselling American author Jackie Collins on the subject of ‘entertainers’ vs. ‘literary writers’:

‘I’m a storyteller. I have never pretended to be a great literary writer. I don’t want to be a literary writer and I probably couldn’t be a literally writer. But I love to tell stories.’

And here’s Stephen King’s opinion of his own works:

‘I am exporting little pieces of America. There is no more American writer than me. Hey, maybe I’m the literary equivalent of McDonald’s – a coke and fries and a Big Mac.’

Friday, August 31, 2012

What Ails Kenyan Literature (Part 2) - Intellectual Elitism

‘The novel, to me, is a demonstration of emotional and psychological truths, not an intellectual exercise. I don’t see myself as an intellectual…I think of myself as a craftsman.’ – Bestselling author John Irving (The World According to Garp, The Cider House Rules)
 
I don’t want scientists. I don’t want academicians. I don’t want people who do the right things. I want people who do inspiring things.’ - Bill Bernbach, legendary businessman (advertising field)


Let me ask you a question: Has anyone ever borrowed the literary page of your newspaper?

Admit it – people will ask if they can ‘see’ your Pulse, Zuqka, Eve, Saturday, Instinct, sports section and a few other entertaining pullouts/segments but no-one borrows your Literary/Books page. There’s a reason for that: It’s usually filled with academic/intellectual hogwash and is therefore boring to the man on the street. I am a writer and even I don’t read the literary columns any more (maybe the concerned columnists don’t care about that but they should – If
you were organizing a music awards ceremony and even the musicians were not interested, wouldn’t you be concerned?)

‘Intellectualising’ the literary scene is a step in the wrong direction and it is stifling the Kenyan mass market paperback industry. Do you see professors on the bestseller lists of Publishers Weekly, New York Times, USA Today and International Express? Even if a professor-written book does make the list (and that’s a big ‘if’), it will most likely be in the non-fiction category.

There is nothing elitist about literature. Literature was, in fact, the first form of mass communication. As Edgar V. Roberts observed, ‘Literature is the property of all.’ One of the things intellectual book reviewers like to do is dissect the past, like a medical student slicing open a corpse. And from the past, they dig out such hackneyed expressions as ‘East Africa is a literary desert.’ Professor Taban Lo Liyong (Another Nigger Dead, Culture is Rutan) made that (probably off-hand) comment in the 1970’s and since then it has dominated Kenyan
literary reviews. Taban Lo Liyong, a Sudanese national who has taught at Nairobi University, is probably amazed by how much ink his little remark has received. Intellectual reviewers love to squeeze it into their literary columns: ‘…perhaps this is the literary desert Taban Lo Liyong was referring to’, ‘…Taban Lo Liyong once described East Africa as a literary desert…’, ‘…this book is a flower in the literary desert…’ and so on and so forth. What’s so special about that expression, you ask? Nothing. It’s just that we have literary reviewers who can’t seem ‘to turn the page’; they discuss the same things year in and year out, world without end. Even if that sentiment was accurate (which it wasn’t), so much has changed in the literary landscape over the last thirty years that it has now been overtaken by events: Numerous fiction and non-fiction titles have
been published, publishing houses have multiplied, scores of authors have emerged, book clubs ave been formed, book festivals have been launched, literary awards have increased, literacy levels in the region have risen and so on. In recent times, Kenyan writers have won international accolades such as The Caine Prize for African Writing, the BBC playwriting contest and the Commonwealth Prize for Fiction. In 2010, Ngugi wa Thiong’o was nominated for the Nobel Prize for Literature.

Personally, I can’t stand that expression! If I hear it one more time, I’m going to throw a fit! I think it should completely disappear from our literary radar because it does no good to the regional book market (it can only discourage investors and demoralize authors). First of all, East Africa is not, and has never been, a ‘literary desert’ (if anything, it’s an oasis). Second, the discussion of Taban Lo Liyong’s remarks have been done to death. That chapter is now closed. I have squashed that debate for all time.

Another expression that intellectuals love is ‘to sacrifice something on the alter of something something else.’ It used to be quite popular in the newspapers some years back and it is still sparingly used today. For example, in September 2011, somebody reacting to an article by veteran columnist Phillip Ochieng’ (I Accuse the Press), wrote: ‘…the Luo have sacrificed the community’s development at the alter of Mr. Raila Odinga’s political ambitions.’ I kind of like
that turn of phrase, to be honest, and since it is not negative, I will not condemn it – I will in fact find ways of incorporating it into my writings!
In his audio book, How to Argue and Win Every Time, lawyer Gene Geter (who has represented such high-profile clients as Imelda Marcos) talks about the numerous papers that lawyers prepare for judges. Gene states that those documents constitute ‘the most boring literature in the world’ and that he pities the judges/magistrates that have to plough through all that muck. Gene
wonders aloud where it is written that ‘lawyers should not be passionate about what they do.’

I sometimes wonder the same thing when I read the professor-written literary reviews. It’s as if they’re afraid that if the article is remotely entertaining, it will not be taken seriously. They prefer to give ‘strong medicine’.

The truth of the matter is that even the most serious, sobering and weighty matters can still be written in such as way that they hold a reader’s interest. Like a lawyer introducing exhibits to a courtroom, allow me to introduce the works of Joe McGinniss. Joe McGinniss is an American writer whose forte is highly researched non-fiction. He is the author of the acclaimed true crime books Cruel Doubt, Blind Faith and Fatal Vision. At the age of only 26, his bestseller about then president Richard Nixon, The Selling of the President, appeared on the New York Times Bestseller List. During the O. J. Simpson trial, McGinniss was offered a $1 million advance by a publisher, to write a book on the case. Kenyan non-fiction writers (and jaded newspaper columnists) could learn a great deal from this McGinniss guy. Even when he is writing about dull politicians like Richard Nixon and Hubert Humphrey (The Selling of the
President
), McGinniss keeps you glued to the page. He is, apparently, incapable of writing a dull paragraph and its no wonder that he has made a home for himself on the New York Times Bestseller List.

To continue with the courtroom analogy, allow me to introduce several more closely-linked exhibits. As a writer, I keep a lot of old newspapers for research purposes and I will now reach randomly into the piles and show you what has become of Kenyan literature:

Book review for Sunday Nation, 23rd August 2009
Book: The Politics of School Texts in Kenya

With all due respect, that title alone nearly put me to sleep. The Politics of School Texts in Kenya? Isn’t that something school heads attending a conference in Mombasa would discuss? At best it sounds like the agenda of an early-morning meeting at the Ministry of Education, following complaints from publishers.
Let’s move on:

Book review for Sunday Nation, 2nd September 2007
Book: The Moi Presidency in Kenya: The Politics of Transition from Authoritarianism to Democracy, 1979 - 2002Author: Prof. William Ochieng’

Not bad. Moi’s presidency does deserve a major analysis. But the fact that the author is a professor is enough to put me off. I expect a dull work – even the title rambles for too long.

Book review for Sunday Nation, 1st March 2009
Book: Becoming an African University: Makerere 1922 – 2000
Author: Carol Sicherman

Perfect! This is the kind of stuff I’m complaining about. Picture this: It’s a glorious Sunday afternoon and you’re sitting in one of Nairobi’s many entertainment joints, sipping a drink while you wait for your ka-kilo of goat meat to be roasted. All around you are bustling Nairobians, drinking and feasting on nyama choma. You reach for your Sunday Nation and turn to
the literary page only to discover a review of a book about the history of Makerere University from 1922 to 2000. What do you care about its history? It’s not even in Kenya! Would you even be interested in a review of a book about the history of Nairobi University? What does it have to do with the price of eggs? One would have to be an investor in tertiary education institutions to care. (I doubt that even a lecturer there would give two pins about the distant history of the place. His/her eye is on the monthly paycheck).

And now you know why nobody borrows the literary page of your Sunday paper. I often smile when, at the end of a book review, I see the words, ‘The writer teaches literature at such and such university.’ That’s well and good but as the saying goes: ‘You don’t need to be a cook to criticize the cooking.’

I don’t know whose bright idea it was to have university professors do the
book reviews but I don’t think it has done Kenyan literature any favours. (You don’t see movie reviews being done by lecturers from Kenya Institute of Mass Communication or Multimedia University, do you?) In fact, the injection of intellectualism may have isolated ordinary people who have no wish to delve deep into things like ‘Merits and Demerits of Oral Literature’, ‘Early African writing and writers (1950’s and 1960’s)’ and so on. And this is universal. To illustrate: When world-renowned theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking set out to write A Brief History of Time (for laymen), his publisher warned him that any mathematical equation he put in the book would half the sales.


Left to their own devices, academics love to review books by fellow professors, like Professor Francis Imbuga, Professor Taban Lo Liyong, Professor Ngugi wa Thiong’o and so on. They write articles with such uninspiring titles as ‘Dons track progress in popularizing oral literature’ (Sunday Nation, May 23, 2004) and mention things like ‘the post-colonial vortex’. I have a fairly high IQ and I have authored several books and even I don’t know what the Post-Colonial Vortex is, or was. I wouldn’t know it even if it jumped up and bit me. Which begs the question: Who are these intellectuals writing for? It sure as hell isn’t Joe/Jane Citizen on the street.

‘Literature is the property of all; its appeal is to all. But literature is an art, it employs techniques…’ - Edgar V. Roberts

I know that newspaper columnists have to kowtow to certain editorial policies ‘from above’ but I sincerely doubt that, as in the case of the Sunday Nation, the Aga Khan and other shareholders ever got together and went: ‘Hmm….Let’s make the Books section as boring as possible so that butcheries and kiosks can have a part of the newspaper that they can use to wrap their stuff with.’ (Yes, I know – I’m a funny guy. I even had some more jokes to insert here but they were swallowed by the Post-Colonial Vortex.)
Bestselling author Sidney Sheldon didn’t seem to have a high opinion of university literary courses, either. During an interview, he told a story about Pulitzer Prize winner Sinclair Lewis who was much sought after by universities. The universities wanted him to speak to their writing classes but he kept
turning them down. Finally, Harvard University convinced him to give a talk to
their aspiring writers. The famous author looked at the assembled young faces and simply said, ‘Why aren’t you home writing?’ and walked off the stage. ‘There’s never been better advice for a writer,’ Sidney Sheldon concluded. ‘Don’t talk about it - do it.’

A teacher who can arouse a feeling for one single good action, for one single good poem, accomplishes more than he who fills our memory with rows and rows of natural objects, classified with name and form.’ - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Not only is the crafting of novels, plays and poetry not the preserve of scholars but some of the best writers were either poorly educated or dropped out of school. Sidney Sheldon dropped out of college after only six months. Paulo Coelho, who has sold more than 100 million books in over 150 countries, dropped out of law school after only one year. Frédéric Dard, a French
novelist whose thrillers sold over 100 million copies, was a school dropout. (He authored over three hundred novels, including over one hundred in the ‘San Antonio’ series.) British-born Jackie Collins dropped out of school at age 15 and joined her actor sister, Joan, in Hollywood. ‘Even then, I knew I wanted to write and that year gave me insight into the movie business,’ says the talkative writer whose voluminous novels based on Hollywood stars have sold millions
of copies in forty countries.

Of course, many literary professors/lecturers will not agree with the foregoing sentiments, but that’s OK. As Bill Bernbach observed, such people may do the ‘right things’ (teach the authorized syllabus, write a newspaper column within the editorial guidelines etc) but they can never do ‘inspiring things.’ They don’t motivate or entertain. Everything is coloured grey. I pity their students. In such a fast-paced world, my advice for the disciples of such un-evolving teachers is:

‘Don’t let school interfere with your education. It is well known that universities kill by degrees.’