Friday, November 26, 2010

Love My Rifle More Than You (Lyrics)

‘You’ll never mean anything but misery to any man.’ – Rhett Butler to Scarlet O’Hara in ‘Gone With the Wind’

The letter arrived at 2200 hours GMT.
At that time, he was still engaged with the enemy.
The contact area was lit up like a Christmas tree:
There were explosions everywhere, the chatter of an S60…
The shelling was some of the worst since World War Two,
The infantry signaled each other to avoid a blue-on-blue;
They looked like characters in a movie by John Woo.
Making it back to camp, relieved that he wasn’t dead,
He received the letter and opened it. It read:

‘Dear John, I’m sorry but you and I are through
Don’t take it personal – it’s me, it’s not you.
I know we had plans for when the war was done:
We were going to get married, have a daughter or a son,
But I’m, afraid there’s been a change of plan.
I’m going to marry a lawyer by the name of Dan.
I can’t be a soldier’s wife – I’m sure you understand.
Wondering if you’ll return is more than I can stand.
The wedding’s tomorrow so I really gotta run
And by the way, greetings from your Aunt Susan.
She says things are okay back at the farm
And she prays that the war will soon be won…’

Now the young combatant, he was all torn up inside
‘Cause that beautiful lady was his joy and pride.
He wanted to get back at her for being so cruel
So he asked his fellow soldiers what he should do
And they came up with a plan that’s sure to amuse you:
They brought out all the photos of their hot girlfriends
Some of whom looked good enough to eat with a spoon
And the young soldier sent those pictures back
With a letter that went into the diplomatic sack.
She received the letter and opened it. It read:

‘Dear Jane, I’m sorry but I’m rather confused
I have to confess that you’re just one of the girls I’ve used.
Please go through the photos and send back the one of you
‘Cause to be honest, I don’t remember which one was you
And I’m really glad you’re marrying Kwan or is it Dan?
You may not love soldiers but you need us – it’s true .
The only reason things are peaceful back at the farm
Is because I’m here, risking all to protect you from harm
You don’t have to thank me, I’m proud of what I do.
Truth be told, I love my rifle more than you!

S60 – an anti-aircraft gun
Blue on blue – Accidentally shooting your fellow soldiers
Contact area - battlefield
GMT – Greenwich Mean Time, also known as “Zulu” time to the military
‘Dear John’ letter – a letter written to someone to break up with them


(c) Alex N Nderitu

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